I spent a week in Cairns visiting my friend Jay from IFSA-Butler. This trip was definitely one of the most interesting trips I’ve been on in Australia. It was a
I got to Cairns around 12:30 on a Friday (I decided to take an entire week off of school because why not? I’m here to see all of Australia) and met Jay at his place at 1. He lives at Cairns Student Lodge at James Cook University in Smithfield, not Cairns. Cairns is about 20 minutes south of Smithfield by car and is considered a part of the “Northern Beaches” area- a region closely affiliated with Cairns. Cairns and the entire “metropolis region” is smooshed between the Ocean to the east and large mountainous rainforests to the west. It is tropical all year round and while I was there during their “winter” it was still 80 degrees. It’s a very scenic place and as I soon learned, the whole region has a “do whatever you want, I really don’t care” vibe. And as I would soon learn, the whole area had little public transportation and was too far to walk to places. That meant we were very limited mobility wise and if we wanted to go somewhere we had to take an Uber; a $20-35 endeavor one way.
Upon arriving at Jay’s place I met two members of his friend group, Josh and Wyatt. Josh is the only Australian friend that Jay and his friend group have. He is a self-described bogan that is extremely into fishing. Wyatt is from the US and is going to JCU full time. He is an interesting guy. From what I gathered, he comes from a relatively affluent family. He has lived in NYC and rural Pennsylvania. He played football in High School, he surfs, fishes (apparently he worked in fisheries), skates, and does a lot of other things like taking pythons from trees and swinging them around (like he did in over their Spring Break road trip.) However, he centers everything around him and hates being told what to do or how to do something. I remember one morning the only day I saw anyone go to class the whole week, Wyatt came back pissed off and was complaining about the class trying to tell him how to dissect a fish or something and he says “I’m done with that class, they’re telling me how to dissect this like I haven’t been cutting them up at fisheries for years.” He’s 19, so I don’t think the last part of the statement was true. He also brings every conversation back to him, making me tend to believe that he makes up some of his stories. Some examples of this is how he fucked his girlfriend’s mom; or how one time all of his friends were “fucking losers” for not wanting to go to a Kid Cudi concert on a school night, so he took his sister instead and they shared their joint with Kid Cudi who couldn’t take too much of it because he had a show to do. Both of these stories are definitely suspect. He is also the biggest drug user in the group, getting barred out on Xanax often. Without a doubt, he is the leader of the group. I soon met Jay’s other friends: Hannah, Muriel, and Cameron. Hannah and Muriel are also on exchange there. There’s nothing really special to say about Hannah. Although, I do think that she has been “corrupted” since she’s been there. Much due to Wyatt’s encouragement, she has taken plenty of drugs for the first time in Australia. There was also even one day where she told Jay the “funny story” of how her friend or something called Jay and Wyatt’s bad influences. Obviously, her friend’s concerns were ignored. I feel bad for Muriel, I was told about how their group went to a music festival and had a mental freak-out after taking acid. She has some problems but who doesn’t? I feel bad for Muriel because it’s obvious she feels like she is wasting her experience in Australia. All the group does is take drugs and they haven’t even seen much of Cairns itself, let alone anywhere else in Australia. The other guy, Cameron, is also abroad I think. He’s literally the stereo-typical douche bro. I hate using those stereotypes but it really is the only way to describe him. That is Jay’s friend group. I also want to quickly describe how the group interacts with everyone else: they don’t. The group sticks to themselves because no one really wants to be around them. As the group so astutely recognizes “everyone here has something against Americans.” The group was so disliked (or viewed with caution) that I would always get strange looks and would feel uncomfortable entering and exiting their apartment. In Australia there is a term for people who are unrefined/unsophisticated-Bogan. It’s the Australian equivalent to white trash. It’s a derogatory work (kind of) with classist undertones, but it’s a good way to describe this group. For that week, I was observing the bogan life.
We spent the first day doing nothing at all. Jay and Wyatt were barred out on Xanax so they didn’t want to do anything. So all I did was drink while they smoked. Wyatt and Jay would occasionally take a Xanax or whipits (laughing gas). Jay would even take a bong hit and then immediately afterwards would take a whipit. This happened on multiple occasions. Look, I’m not a scientist, but that’s a sure way to kill brain cells. For hours we sat in Wyatt’s room and listened to music, a lot of the time in silence too. It was mad uncomfortable. Anytime someone suggested something to do they either A. agreed but nothing would come from it ir B. just rejected it. So I spent the first day intoxicated, but deeply disappointed because we didn’t do anything. I wasn’t the only one upset about doing nothing though. Muriel was having a freak-out because she was high. She was too in her head and sitting there in silence did nothing to help her. It was like the rest of the group wasn’t even aware that was the problem. Instead, Wyatt tried holding her hand to make her feel better. It didn’t work though; sending positive vibes their way wasn’t enough this time, man.
The next day we woke up and went to a fishing store. I could be wrong, but I got the feeling that Cairns was a big fishing town and a bogan hub. Josh, Wyatt, and I were going to go fishing. Originally we were going to go to a place called Jungle Perch- a place in the middle of the jungle. But for some reason, they changed their mind. Instead, we drove 20 minutes north to an area called Wangetti. We parked on the side of a ricer and walked through some brush to fish underneath a bridge. Josh and Wyatt know their shit when it comes to fishing. I, on the other hand, do not. It was kind of fun though and it was a nice fishing spot. We then went to another spot in Wangetti. It was where the mouth of the ricer met the ocean. Instead of fishing, I walked around and hung out on the beach. We left after an hour and a half because a massive storm came in. When we got back, we did much of nothing just like the day before. There was one point in the night that they started a trash can fire.
The next day I decided to go on my own to Kuranda, a small village in the middle of the mountains. It is an extremely popular tourist destination. I started off that morning by taking a sky rail up to the village. That was an hour and a half and it takes you through the rainforest canopies. It was drizzling that day so there were big overcasts, which was a little creepy. The car is just moving through white nothingness at some points. It’s like you wouldn’t have any idea where you were going. And of course, it gave the jungle a very primordial feel. The car made two stops before finally getting to Kuranda. As I said, Kuranda is a tourist village with heaps of shops as well as some markets and other attractions. I did some shopping, grabbed lunch, and went to a butterfly sanctuary while I was there. The sanctuary was actually pretty cool. It’s one giant greenhouse with hundreds of butterflies. They seemed to like me too because they were all over me. One even stayed on me the whole time I was there. I left that afternoon from Kuranda by train. It was made to look like a 19th-century train station that screamed imperialism. The train took us back through the rainforest. It was a nice scenic trip. If
That Monday was a day of losses. It started out when I woke up at 6:55am, exactly one hour after I was supposed to be picked up. I called the dive shop multiple times but no one answered. I eventually grabbed an Uber but when I got there, the dive shop was closed. I was eventually able to get in touch with them and thankfully I was able to get a way on their boat the next day, but damn was I pissed. I tried going to one of those travel agency things to find something to do, but it was futile. So I went back to Jay’s place and explained what happened. We (Jay, Wyatt, Cam, and I) then decided to rent scooters and drive around. When we got to the scooter place, it began the most embarrassing 30 minutes of my life. If we are being honest, I never really learned how to ride a bike, although I kind of can, It never occurred to me that scooters are like bikes. On top of that, I was not in the best mental state. So once we got our scooters, all three of them rode off while I struggled not to hit a parked car. The dude is yelling at me and trying to show me how to ride it while people were onlooking. I just couldn’t get the hang of it. Eventually, the dude was like I can’t let you ride this, you’re not “in the right mental state.” Which was completely fair. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable riding it anyways. So Jay, Wyatt, and Cam all had to get off the scooters. So we went to a place for lunch instead. That whole experience was mortifying.
After lunch, we drove home and hung out. A couple of hours later it became clear to me that Jay and Wyatt were going to be barred out so I decided to take an Uber to the beach. There was one only five minutes away so I went there. I went to the beach for a little bit where I read my book and took a nap. There weren’t a lot of people there but the ones that were there seemed to all have dogs. I came back, and we did nothing much for the rest of the night.
I woke up bright and early and made sure I was on the bus that took me to the harbor. I got onto this boat “silverswift” which is a one day tourist charter that took me to where my dive boat was. After an hour, we arrived at the reef where a tender brought me onto my boat. I got so much shit for sleeping in, but it was all in good spirit. I was shown my cabin and around the boat and how things worked. By then it was 1030am and our next die was at 1130 or so. I had already missed five dives so far. Despite that we has a dice to do, so we quickly got ready. Because I haven’t dove in a while, I went with a guide to get myself quickly orientated. All of the dives I did were great, with each one better than the next. I ended up doing three dives that day (two in the day and one that night). The Great Barrier Reef is simply incredible and is truly a world wonder to behold. It was an underwater Garden of Eden and was visually stunning. I saw a giant turtle the size of a dinner table, stingrays, giant clam gardens, and of course, heaps of fish. However, it was obvious that the Reef was dying. White (bleached) coral was abundant wherever you looked. I expected that, but it was still depressing. When I was not diving I was either reading my book, socializing with the crew and passengers, or eating boat food. Boat food is as good as you would expect it to be. All of the people and crew there were also really friendly. There was a solid number of people my age, but there were all types of people- elderly couples, families, young married couples, backpackers, etc. The level of skill also varied too- some got their Open Water Certificate, others were getting their Advanced Certification, while others were seasoned and master divers. It was a pretty cool day overall. I hoped to see a wide range of stars that night out on the ocean, but unfortunately I didn’t see any. Oh well. Instead I went to bed so I was rested for the next day.
The next morning we woke up bright and early to do a 6:30 am dive at the same reef. After that, we moved to the next reef where we had another dive to do. For most of the dives I was with a group of three freshly certified divers, but it was fun because they were all around my age. Gideon, who was 25 and a doctor at a hospital, was my buddy. It was perfect because we both had the same air consumption rate. Everyone I was with
Instead, when I got back to Jay’s place, I was greeted by Wyatt, who was completely fucked up. He ended up passing out. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, but that group was in an intramural soccer league tournament and the winners would get $500. They asked me to play since Wyatt was indisposed. By then, I was up since 5:30 am, did three dives, and just wanting to relax; but I was coerced into playing. I stayed on defense most of the time, but the game got heated. Jay’s team was pissed at the other team because the week before they lost to them but they felt cheated
Annoyed at the thought of doing absolutely nothing again on my last day in Cairns, I had booked a passage to Fitzroy Island for $78. Fitzroy was a small island right off the coast of the mainland and was only 45 minutes away by boat. The only people residing there were the ones staying at the resort. Everyone else was chartered onto the island. I was on the first boat there (around 9ish) so there were very few people there. The island in the sun was amazing. It had azure waters along its beaches and a jungle in most of the interior. The first thing I did when I got there was the summit hike- a two to three hour round trip trek to the highest peal of the island. Being in flip flops, I was nowhere prepared for this hike. So I took them off along with my shirt and changed in the middle of the nature trail into my bathing suit so my underwear and shorts wouldn’t get sweaty. Tropical John was ready to begin the hike. The hike itself was almost all uphill, but like other uphill hikes, had immensely rewarding views. Going barefoot just added to the fun of it. After a more strenuous than anticipated hike, I finally reached the summit. The view was one of the best I had seen in my entire life. It overlooked most of the green island and you could see the beautiful light blue water. The water was so nice that you could even see where the reefs were. In the not so far distance, you could also see the mountainous mainland. Needless to say, I stayed for a while to enjoy the spectacular views. After that I continued my beautiful hike down through the interior of the island. When I got back it was lunchtime and I was pretty hungry. I went to the only restaurant on the island where I had a burger and a margarita for $36. Extremely overpriced, but the beach side view when I was eating it made up for it at the time.
After lunch, I wanted to sit by the beach. The beach we landed at was rock and filled with dead coral, but there was a sandy beach, Nudey Beach, 30 minutes walking one way. It was extremely windy there so I had trouble setting up my towel, but once I did, everything was smooth sailing. I was tempted to go snorkeling but I didn’t have fins or a wet suit. Plus, I thought my time would be better spent napping. When I woke up I explored the beacj a little more. I collected some dead coral on the beach for souvenirs. Morally, I didn’t know whether I should or not, but in the end I did. I reasoned that there were literal mounds of dead coral everywhere, so they were basically like rocks. Furthermore, I assuanged my guilt by throwing coral I found washed up back into the ocean. I don’t think that does anything, but oh well, it felt like I was doing something. By that time, I had to catch the ferry or else I would have been stuck on the island until morning. So I enjoyed a nice (but wet) ferry ride home, thoroughly content with y experience at Fitzroy Island.
When I got back to Cairns, I wasn’t ready to leave yet. So I walked around and stumbled into the Night Markets. These were probably the coolest markets I’ve been to. There, I even found a GoPro Kiosk that sold red filter lenses and diving masks for cheap. I got them for about half of what I normally would if I bought them at retail. After that, I grabbed an all you can fit on a plate dinner. You pay for the plate and fill it up with as much Chinese food as you can fit on it. As soon as I left the night markets and fot back to Jay;s place, I noticed I left my dive case for my GoPro at the kiosk. I packed my things up at their place, hung out with Jay and them for a few hours, and around 10 I left to go back to Cairns. I picked up my case at the markets and around 11:30ish, I called an Uber to take me to the airport. Much to my dismay, the airport was closed and wouldn’t open up again until 3am. So I had to find a way to kill time. At one point, I’m lying on a bench in the esplanade when a homeless man starts talking to me. At another point a security guard tells me I can’t sleep there. I finally settled into a place when the sprinklers turned on. I did pretty much nothing until 2am when I decided to walk to the airport. It was a few miles away but with all of my stuff it was a hassle. After an hour and a half of walking along the esplanade and sides of roads, I finally made it to the airport at 3:30am. Thus my Cairns trip was concluded.
As I said before, this trip was my most interesting trip. I crossed off diving the Great Barrier Reef off of my bucket list (which was an unforgettable experience) and was able to visit a tropical paradise on an island. I was also thoroughly embarrassed. Much of what I have written seems a bit harsh about Jay and his friend group, but